Men have mocked Orlando Bloom by parodying his eccentric daily routine after the British actor revealed he hikes early each morning to ‘earn’ his breakfast, meditates for 20 minutes and plays Lego to distract from Covid.
Hollywood star Bloom unwittingly became the focus of international amusement after giving fans a glimpse into his incredibly lavish California lifestyle.
In a cringeworthy interview with the Sunday Times, he said he wakes up at 6.30am before checking in on his baby girl while fiancee Katy Perry enjoys a ‘lie-in’.
The Buddhist then meditates and chants for 20 minutes each days, adds ‘brain octane oil’ to his pre-breakfast smoothie and hikes while listening to Nirvana.
Bloom, best known for his role in Pirates Of The Caribbean, also described how he ‘eye-gazes’ with his daughter, turned to Lego during the pandemic, and spends ‘a lot of time’ dreaming about roles ‘for minorities and women’.
His antics are now being lampooned by men, with Twitter users sharing videos of comics reading extracts of the interview as Hannibal Lecter and cockneys.
Others parodied his daily routine by describing how they eat salt and vinegar crisps instead of hearty porridge for breakfast before ‘going for a s**te’.
In one lengthy post, a Twitter user said how he wakes up around 6am and feels ‘absolutely f**ked’ to the sound of his daughter’s ‘blood curdling cry’ and has a McDonald’s lunch at 11am ‘partly as something to do’.
Orlando Bloom – who was born in Kent – explained that he wakes up at 6.30, before checking in on his baby girl while singer Katy, 36, enjoys a ‘lie-in’
‘I could have come off the rails’: On ‘craving a routine’, Orlando added: ‘I’ve had a Buddhist practice since I was 16, so that’s infiltrated my being’ (pictured at an art museum in 2017)
In a cringeworthy interview with the Sunday Times, Bloom said he wakes up at 6.30am before checking in on his baby girl while fiancee Katy Perry enjoys a ‘lie-in’
In one lengthy post, a Twitter user said how he wakes up around 6am and feels ‘absolutely f**ked’ to the sound of his daughter’s ‘blood curdling cry’ and has a McDonald’s lunch at 11am
Another social media user wrote an ‘original version’ of Bloom’s morning routine which included him getting ‘rudely awaken by the dustmen’ and feeds the pigeons and sparrows to get ‘a sense of enormous well being’.
The long parody, posted on Twitter, states: ‘I wake up around 6am and feel absolutely f**ked. I can hear my eldest daughter (2) screaming a blood curdling cry, devastated she can’t find her cuddly toy.
‘I go in and find it in her bed, right next to her. I love her dearly but could happily never see her before 10am for the rest of my life.
‘I carry her downstairs, cursing my wife. It’s her day to lie in.
‘My daughter demands breakfast. I get halfway through explaining a polite way to ask when she tells me to get breakfast and I do as commanded. Being a father is a truly magical experience.
‘I get my second daughter from upstairs and she looks up at me as I check social media. I’ve bought a phone case with my face on the back so she knows what I look like.
‘I realise we’re almost out of bread so eat the last two bits before telling everyone the bad news and give them their breakfast options.
‘I then sit them in front of cartoons whilst I doom scroll. They’re both too young for school so this is literally it. All day.
His antics are now being lampooned by men, with Twitter users sharing videos of comics reading extracts of the interview as Hannibal Lecter and cockneys
Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry arrive for the Los Angeles premiere of Amazon Original Series Carnival Row at the TCL Chinese theatre on August 21, 2019
‘We eat lunch at around 11am. Partly as something to do, partly because 6am is like waking up in the middle of the night and partly because it’s what time McDonalds Daytime Menu starts.
‘By the evening everyone is tired but no one wants to sleep. We put the children to bed then spend the next 3 hours walking upstairs to tell them to sleep.
‘With the precious time I have I lay traps in the living room for the rats I hear under the floorboards. Now I have space to dream.’
Bloom, 44, who recently purchased a $14.2million compound in Montecito, revealed he starts his day by ‘eye-gazing’ with his six-month-old daughter Daisy, before engaging in Buddhist chants to help him ‘stay on the rails’.
The actor also shared how he switches between cooking himself plant-based lunches or having a ‘team’ of chefs prepare his meals, and insisted he has a ban against tracksuit bottoms at home in a bid to ‘make an effort’.
Bloom, who was born in Kent, explained that he wakes up at 6.30 and monitors his ‘readiness’ via his sleep-tracking smart ring app, before checking in on his baby girl while Perry, 36, enjoys a ‘lie-in’.
Others parodied his daily routine by describing how they eat salt and vinegar crisps instead of hearty porridge for breakfast before ‘going for a s**te’
‘I look at a cow and think, that’s the most beautiful thing ever’: The Canterbury native is ’90 per cent plant-based’ and eats red meat only once a month (pictured last year)
‘Daisy’s a very happy baby,’ he told the Sunday Times.
‘I’ll kiss her and we’ll spend some time connecting. I’ll do eye-gazing with her and sing songs, ‘Daddy loves his Daisy Dove’, so she knows who Daddy is. My son’s first word was ‘Mama’, but Daisy said ‘Dadda’.It’s amazing to be a father again.’
The thespian, who also shares son Flynn, 10, with ex-wife Miranda Kerr, enthused about feeling ‘less anxious and more present’ the second time round.
On him and the musician ‘craving a routine’, Bloom added: ‘I’ve had a Buddhist practice since I was 16, so that’s infiltrated my whole being… [without it], I could have easily come off the rails. I feel that I can be the driver of my train.’
The TV and film star also revealed he tries to avoid his phone in the early hours as he ‘doesn’t want to be sucked into the black hole of social media.’
The father-of-two went on to claim he ‘likes to earn’ his breakfast, so will mix ‘brain octane oil, protein, green and collagen powders’ together before going on a hike.
His first meal consists of ‘porridge, hazelnut milk, cinnamon, vanilla paste, goji berries, a vegan protein powder and a cup of PG Tips’, and he’ll also make breakfast for his son – who splits time between his home and Miranda’s $16million LA mansion.
‘I shouldn’t have taken it so seriously’: Earlier this month, Orlando reflected on having an acting career for more than 20 years (pictured in Pirates Of The Caribbean)
At peace: The thespian, who also shares son Flynn (pictured in 2018), 10, with ex-wife Miranda Kerr, enthused about feeling ‘less anxious and more present’ the second time round
In his element: In a new interview, the actor, 44, revealed he starts his day by engaging in 20-minute Buddhist chants to help him ‘stay on the rails’ (pictured this month)
The Canterbury native is ’90 per cent plant-based’ and eats red meat only once a month, declaring: ‘I look at a cow and think, that’s the most beautiful thing ever. At some point we’ll look back and not be able to believe we ate meat.’
‘I’ll have a shower and get dressed. I like to make an effort. No tracksuit bottoms. Lunch is mostly plant-based again… I will cook at times but otherwise there’s a team of people. Then I’ll have a Zoom and read scripts’, Bloom went on.
He also keeps busy by working on his Amazon projects, building Lego cars, exercising for an hour and ‘dreaming about [screen] roles for minorities and women’.
The Retaliation star ends his day by putting their Daisy to bed and watching a film during dinner, before heading to bed by 11.
‘It’s amazing to be a father again’: The screen star gushed over ‘eye-gazing’ with his six-month-old daughter Daisy (pictured shortly after her birth last year)
‘Eye-gazing’ with Daisy, plant-based meals by ‘a team’ of chefs and a tracksuit-ban: Orlando Bloom has given insight into his life in California with fiancée Katy Perry (pictured in 2020)
Here, ALISON BOSHOFF of the Mail has the full story…
MEDITATION AND COCONUT BRAIN OIL
Bloom says: ‘I wake at around 6.30. I have a smart sleep tracker [a ring worn on the finger that measures sleep] and the first thing I do is look at the app to see if I’ve had a good sleep and check my readiness for the day.’
A practising Buddhist from the age of 16, he says he then likes to ‘chant for 20 minutes every day, religiously’.
Next it’s time for a pre-brekkie green smoothie, to which he adds collagen powder for his hair and nails and something called ‘brain octane oil’.
Next it’s time for a pre-brekkie green smoothie, to which he adds collagen powder for his hair and nails and something called ‘brain octane oil’
Brain octane oil sells for around £80
Selling for around £80, it’s popular with those following a keto (low carb) diet.
Sourced purely from coconuts, it claims to keep cravings at bay and improve brain power.
Having, presumably, then ‘earned’ his breakfast, Orlando tucks in to porridge, a little hazelnut milk, cinnamon, vanilla paste, hazelnuts, goji berries, a vegan protein powder and a cup of PG Tips.
‘I’m 90 per cent plant-based, so I’ll only eat a really good piece of red meat maybe once a month,’ he reveals.
‘I sometimes look at a cow and think, that’s the most beautiful thing ever.’
DRESSING UP TO DREAM
According to Orlando, he likes to make an effort — which means no tracksuit bottoms — and spends a lot of his time dreaming about roles for himself and others: for minorities and women and trying to be a voice for everybody. Pictured: Bloom during the 26th Annual Critics Choice Awards on March 7
Been spending lockdown in a ratty old T-shirt and pair of joggers? Shame on you, because Orlando spends the rest of the day carving out ‘space to dream’, which requires an appropriately dreamy level of dress.
According to Orlando, he likes to make an effort – which means no tracksuit bottoms – and spends a lot of his time dreaming about roles for himself and others: for minorities and women and trying to be a voice for everybody.
Bloom, you may remember, became famous almost straight after studying drama at the Guildhall in the Lord Of The Rings film franchise playing the elf Legolas.
The films weren’t much noted for giving voices to minorities or women, but they did help Bloom to start amassing his £30million fortune.
The day winds down not with the horrors of the school run, work deadlines or a large glass of wine but a quiet meal for two prepared by staff.
He aims to get to bed by 11, saying: ‘If I get eight hours’ sleep I’m happy and so is my sleep tracker. Time is so precious. I was always giving my time to other people before. Now I have the space to dream.’
ZEN WITH HIS RELIGIOUS MENTOR
He shares a religious mentor, Dave, with singer Courtney Love who – pre-pandemic – would visit to chant with him daily
Bloom became interested in Buddhism when he was a teenager growing up in Canterbury and a friend at St Edmund’s school started talking to him about the philosophy.
He formally committed himself to the Soka Gakkai branch of the religion in 2003, undertaking a ceremony at the movement’s headquarters at the stately home Taplow Court, in Buckinghamshire, where he was presented with his Gohonzon, a scroll marked with Chinese and Sanskrit characters.
His Gohonzon is kept in a box at home and he says it is his most treasured possession.
He shares a religious mentor, Dave, with singer Courtney Love who – pre-pandemic – would visit to chant with him daily.
The movement, which also numbers singer Art Garfunkel, Dallas actor Patrick Duffy and pop star Howard Jones among its followers, has been criticised for being cult-ish in its emphasis on recruitment and because of the focus on the leader, Daisaku Ikeda, a business tycoon.
Followers are taught that everyone has a latent Buddha inside them, with chanting being the way to enlightenment. He credits Buddhism with helping him handle the pressures of showbusiness after finding fame in Lord Of The Rings in his early 20s.
‘I had this remarkable opening chapter to my career, for which I was only semi-present. Without my Buddhist practice, I could have easily come off the rails,’ he says. ‘I’ve been changing the narrative in my head and feel that I can be the driver of my train. I can set it alight, but I can get the fire crew and put it out.’
He once said in 2007: ‘Buddhism really helps me… to differentiate the semblance of the showbiz from real life.’
LEGOLAS IN A LEGO ROOM
In June last year, his fiancee Katy Perry told a radio interviewer that the hobby is so serious that Bloom actually has a dedicated Lego room in the house. Pictured: Orlando Bloom shows off his lego room
A life as Zen as this leaves plenty of space for hobbies. Bloom said: ‘During Covid I started building Lego again. I dip in and out while I work.
‘I build mostly cars and find the methodical nature of creating this little thing makes me feel like I’m achieving something else. Then I’ll do weights for an hour, to exhaust me.’
In June last year, his fiancee Katy Perry told a radio interviewer that the hobby is so serious that Bloom actually has a dedicated Lego room in the house.
‘It was a TV room and now it’s a Lego room,’ she explained. ‘He gets these Legos which are super hard to do, and he’ll make those in two days and then displays them on the wall.’
SPIRITUAL JOURNEY WITH KATY PERRY
Bloom and Katy announced they were engaged in 2019 – Katy says one of their main love languages is the ‘spiritual evolution’
Bloom met Katy, 36 at a 2016 Golden Globes afterparty. They split for a year in 2017 but reconnected in 2018 and announced that they were engaged in 2019. They were due to marry in 2020 but have put off the ceremony ‘five times.’
Katy says of Bloom: ‘He’s very sensitive. Very emotionally evolved. One of the things that binds us is our desire to be more spiritually evolved, and our desire to investigate that realm.
‘One of our main love languages is the spiritual evolution. We love mysticism, conspiracies, aliens, all that stuff. We love an adventure of the mind. That’s definitely something we are bound by.’
Katy was previously married to comedian Russell Brand, who left her suicidal after asking for a divorce by text.
The daughter of born-again Christians, she says she’s been in therapy since she was 25 and was ‘saved’ by her romance with Bloom.
Having gone through an ’emotional, spiritual, psychological journey’ during their split, she declares: ‘Love did save me. Unconditional love saved me.’
VOW OF CELIBACY AFTER YEARS OF SEX
In 2016, three years after his divorce from Miranda Kerr (left in 2013), he took advice from a surfer pal, Laird Hamilton, who said that Bloom should try a period of celibacy
Bloom previously dated actress Kate Bosworth for four years on and off and was married to Australian model Miranda Kerr for three years.
Between romances there seem to have been a lot of flings, with reported dalliances with Kirsten Dunst, Penelope Cruz and Uma Thurman among others.
Singer Lily Allen recalled in her autobiography that in October 2014 she spent Kate Hudson’s Halloween party getting cosy with Bloom — but fate intervened before anything could happen when she accidentally bumped heads with him and knocked herself out cold. Bloom himself said last year: ‘I was a pretty boy and I loved women.’
In 2016, three years after his divorce from Kerr, he took advice from a surfer pal, Laird Hamilton, who said that Bloom should try a period of celibacy.
Orlando was devoted to his dog Mighty who sadly died last year
He said: ‘I was really enjoying the way I was relating to women, and to the feminine within myself. I know that sounds crazy.’
Katy Perry was the one who convinced him to bin the ban six months later.
During their ‘off’ period, Bloom invited Viviana Ross, a waitress at trendy London hotel Chiltern Firehouse, up to his room — which led to a night of ‘spectacular’ sex that resulted in her being fired by her boss.
Katy Perry named Bloom as the second best lover she’d ever had — after singer John Mayer — when she appeared on The Late Late Show. However, parenthood has taken its toll on his sex life.
When asked recently how often he had sex, Bloom, whose daughter with Katy was born in August last year, answered ‘not enough’, adding: ‘We have just had a baby though.’
DOTING DADDY AND NANNY CLOSE BY
Katy Perry gave birth to her first child with Bloom in August 2020. Bloom said: ‘Daisy’s a very happy baby. I’ll kiss her and we’ll spend some time connecting.
In the interview at the weekend he noted that he is bowled over by fatherhood again — his son Flynn with Miranda Kerr is ten years old.
He said: ‘Daisy’s a very happy baby. I’ll kiss her and we’ll spend some time connecting. I’ll do eye-gazing with her and sing songs. My son’s first word was ‘Mama’, but Daisy said ‘Dadda’.
Miranda, now married to Snapchat online app billionaire Evan Spiegel, said in an interview that in the early years she would send Flynn to Bloom with a nanny in tow.
‘Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great dad. It’s just me being a protective mother and wanting to make sure all Flynn’s needs are met. ‘I want to keep Flynn’s routine. Orlando’s fine with it. He likes it, it’s less pressure.’
AN ECO WARRIOR ON A MEGA YACHT
Bloom and Katy now have Prince Harry as their neighbour in Montecito, California
In the summer of 2019, Bloom and Katy arrived in Sicily on mogul David Geffen’s mega-yacht Rising Sun — almost certainly the least eco-friendly mode of travelling the planet — for the Camp Google eco-summit. They were among those who listened to a barefoot Prince Harry talking about saving the globe. He’s now a neighbour in Montecito.
They then left the summit on a different gas-guzzling yacht, cruising the Med with celebs including Oprah, Gayle King, actor Bradley Cooper, plus UK Vogue editor Edward Enninful.
In an interview in 2018, Bloom told Forbes magazine: ‘The world is changing, and we need to change our habit along with it. So I would challenge you to think what impact YOU can make and what LEGACY you will leave for your children.’
Oh-SO MANLY ON A PADDLEBOARD
Bloom caused a sensation in 2016 when pictures of him paddleboarding naked while on holiday were published
Bloom is an exercise fan, from cycling to fishing to wakeboarding. But it’s his other water sport hobby that has got him the most attention
He caused a sensation in 2016 when pictures of him paddleboarding naked while on holiday were published. He’s not got much of a sense of humour about it, complaining: ‘It’s more that it carries on being talked about.
‘I will say that I had no idea it was going to happen. I really would just like the whole thing to go away. I am not embarrassed about it, but it speaks to where we are in our culture.’
As for gossip about his manhood, he told DJ Howard Stern: ‘It is really not that big. Things are extended on cameras with a big telescopic lens. That was an optical illusion.’
Katy explained: ‘Everywhere we looked, it was like everybody was naked, it was Europe, it was Italy. And I think he wanted to fit in with the locals, and it was the end of the trip.’ But she kept her bikini on.