A disability activist has slammed a ‘creepy stalker’ who asked her to set him up with a ‘simple-minded and helpless’ woman.
Monica Albert Still from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was messaged on Facebook by the unnamed man who snooped through her profile and photos hoping to find disabled and vulnerable women he could target for potential dates.
He brazenly declared his intentions, saying he was providing a ‘humanitarian service’ to the women.
Monica Albert Still from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, has slammed a ‘creepy stalker’ who asked her to set him up with a ‘simple-minded and helpless’ woman
She was messaged on Facebook by the unnamed man who snooped through her profile and photos
In other unsettling messages, the man stated his intentions to ‘get acquainted’ with disabled women he had spotted while searching the 56-year-old’s profile and asked her for ‘suggestions’.
He also said he had noticed Monica was ‘still single’ and was a ‘very beautiful woman’, before saying he wanted to get to know her and suggesting that they ‘get involved’.
The retired nurse, who has spina bifida and a lower-leg amputation, claims these messages illustrate a wider problem where ‘ableist’ people assume disabled people can be taken advantage of in dating.
After realizing he’d been sifting through her profile, Monica reported him numerous times before finally blocking him after he sent her a pornographic photo.
Monica said: ‘I work with the Spina Bifida Association, so I get a lot of messages from disabled people.
‘I answer messages because sometimes I’m able to help someone.
The retired nurse, who has spina bifida and a lower-leg amputation, claims the messages illustrate a wider problem
He brazenly declared his intentions, saying he was providing a ‘humanitarian service’ to the women
‘But this guy went off on a weird thing about wanting a disabled woman because they’re “simple minded” and “helpless”, and I was like “no this isn’t how this goes”.
‘When I saw that he was looking for a helpless woman, it just made me think he was looking for somebody he could control.
‘When I said no, he said he’d find somebody through my profile. He’d seen my post sharing his messages.
‘I ended up blocking him because he started showing me pictures of my Facebook friends.
‘He had started going through my profile to find some of these – I don’t have my friend list public.
‘He was saying “I could date this one”. It was a very creepy stalker vibe. I felt so angry that this person thought he had the right to do this.’
Monica, who volunteers with disability rights organisations, is open about her passion for ‘disability justice’ online and shared the messages to make sure her disabled friends were vigilant about any advances.
Monica said: ‘It comes along with this ableism that somebody assumes I would be so desperate for a relationship that this would be okay with me.
Monica, who volunteers with disability rights organisations, is open about her passion for ‘disability justice’ online
‘That worries me, because there might be women who aren’t as comfortable with themselves and a guy like this could do a lot of damage.
‘Most of my posts are about disability justice and I’m very open about my life – I have spina bifida and I’m a below-the-knee amputee. I think he was aware of that.
‘I shared his messages to my friends because it was about ableism and I wanted to warn my disabled friends, so they didn’t have to deal with the nonsense I was receiving.
‘I didn’t want him to talk to any of my friends and say “I’m friends with Monica”.
‘I reported his account several times, because he shared a pornographic picture with me that I didn’t ask for.’
Monica, who has a partner of six years, believes that the messages indicate a wider issue that disabled people face as they try to navigate the dating scene.
Monica said: ‘There is such a thing within the disability community as a devotee [a person who is sexually attracted to disability].
Monica, who has a partner of six years, believes that the messages indicate a wider issue that disabled people face
‘I’m not sure if that’s what he was, because there are people who are looking to have a relationship with a disabled person because that’s their thing.
‘I’ve never had a message like this before, and I’m a bit older, I’ve had a computer since 1982.
‘I’ve been in chat rooms and stuff, but never had anything like this.
‘I think this is part of a wider problem, dating with a disability is difficult.
‘There are people who assume we’re asexual and we don’t date and have no sex lives.
‘Then there’s the opposite side where people think ‘oh, if I date somebody who’s disabled, I can take advantage of them. I can control them’.
‘It’s an issue of control, as if the disabled person can’t do any better than them.
‘I’ve encountered men like this before.
‘They’ll assume I’m looking for a care-giver and not somebody to be my partner. I’ve encountered it and it can make life frustrating.’
