How Stacey Dooley stayed with the Sisters of the Order of the Holy Paraclete for a new TV show


What reading material would you take if you were going to stay in a convent, to experience life as a nun? A Bible might be a good start. 

Stacey Dooley, however, took a copy of Elle Decoration. 

Little wonder the Sisters of the Order of the Holy Paraclete in Whitby — who quickly furnished her with more suitable religious tracts — thought she might not stick it out to the end of her planned stay. 

They tell me they expected the documentary maker (and star of Strictly) to bolt. 

‘We thought the strict discipline would be too much for her,’ confides Prioress Sister Jocelyn. 

(For those who share Stacey’s initial ignorance of convent life, the Prioress is the chief nun). 

Of course they did. Stacey might be an acclaimed documentary-maker but she is also a self-confessed chatterbox, and each day at the convent starts at 6am with silent prayers, followed by a silent breakfast. 

What reading material would you take if you were going to stay in a convent, to experience life as a nun? A Bible might be a good start. Stacey Dooley, however, took a copy of Elle Decoration. Pictured: BBC show Stacey Dooley Inside the Convent

What reading material would you take if you were going to stay in a convent, to experience life as a nun? A Bible might be a good start. Stacey Dooley, however, took a copy of Elle Decoration. Pictured: BBC show Stacey Dooley Inside the Convent

The nuns follow rigid routines, with prayers four times a day, hymn practice and Bible study. They do work — up to six hours daily — in the community, helping in foodbanks, or around the convent, cooking and cleaning. 

Their idea of down time is making cards for the community shop. 

They live, well, the quiet and contemplative life of a nun, seeking God in mundane day to day tasks. Phones are only for essential calls. 

There is a TV but it’s used, says Sister Jocelyn, ‘for information and culture’, only in ‘free time’ is it permitted for entertainment. 

The sisters describe themselves as ‘counter-cultural’. ‘Although we share some of the concerns of ordinary people — we must pay the bills — our life is, by definition, a withdrawal from the ordinary.’ It is definitely not the bustling life Stacey (or most of us, really) leads. 

‘My life is probably their idea of absolute hell,’ she admits, as she prepares to give it all up for this ten-day project, the results of which can be seen in Inside The Convent, on BBC1 next week. 

We meet Stacey when she is waving goodbye to her ‘Kev’. Kevin Clifton was her Strictly professional partner in 2018 and they waltzed off together in real life after lifting the glitterball. 

‘Kevin can’t believe it. I don’t know why,’ she says, pointing out that it is her job to poke her nose into unexpected places. Does he have the slightest worry she might not come home? That he might be ditched for God? No. 

‘He thinks I’m going to come out of this the same woman.’ Now Stacey has tackled some epic subjects in her documentaries.

She has lived alongside the victims of sex trafficking, abortion protesters, members of cults. 

Her Strictly gloss belies a gritty back catalogue. 

She explains in the film that she wanted to find out more about religious life because, since the pandemic, so many people are questioning the ‘big’ issues, asking what it is all about. 

Watching the show, I do wonder if Stacey had met a nun before. 

She packs ‘fancy pyjamas’, thinking she is going to have to sleep in a dorm. Actually she has her own guest room. 

Maybe she has fantasies of being Maria in the Sound of Music. Those are quickly dashed. She can’t hold a note for starters. 

There are 23 sisters in this small, dwindling, religious community (and only 220 Anglican nuns in the whole of the UK). 

Were they Stacey Dooley fans, I ask, when the sisters agree to answer some questions?

They are not silent, but not exactly rushing to say ‘ooh yes, we loved her rumba’ either. 

‘Some sisters had heard of Stacey and indeed seen her on Strictly Come Dancing,’ says Sister Jocelyn. 

‘I myself hadn’t, but after we were approached about doing the programme I watched some of her documentaries and was very encouraged by her approach to some difficult and unusual subjects. We thought “why not?”

‘It’s good to keep raising the profile of the religious life and I thought we could trust her to do something that was honest and wouldn’t sensationalise our life.’ 

We meet Stacey Dooley, pictured, when she is waving goodbye to her ¿Kev¿. Kevin Clifton, pictured, was her Strictly professional partner in 2018 and they waltzed off together in real life after lifting the glitterball

We meet Stacey Dooley, pictured, when she is waving goodbye to her ‘Kev’. Kevin Clifton, pictured, was her Strictly professional partner in 2018 and they waltzed off together in real life after lifting the glitterball

Actually, in the show these sisters open their arms to Stacey, and she falls into them quite willingly, staying the distance for the full ten days, and managing not to be late for 6am prayers once. 

The show is primarily about the sisters, of course. Stacey asks the questions most people are too scared to ask nuns — and gets some startling responses. Sister Helen, one of the stars, is the youngest of the sisters. 

At 58, she has been a member of this community for nearly 30 years, but in a revealing moment she admits to Stacey she hasn’t ruled out the idea of falling in love and running off with a man. 

‘I mean I’m not actively looking,’ she adds, ‘but none of us have a crystal ball.’ 

All of the nuns have their own back stories. Some seem terribly full of sacrifice. Sister Grace, for instance, has spent 50 years in this order, and remembers her parents being devastated by her choice.

‘The pain I gave to my parents. They were absolutely against it. There is no way they were going to come to visit me.’ 

She still has the letter her parents sent her, telling her they would always miss her, ‘especially at tea time’, and would always be ready to welcome her home. 

Did she consider it? She admits she did have moments where her faith — in her vocation, if not in God — did waver.

‘When I was 50, I thought, “have I done the wrong thing? Should I be married with children”, but I’ve come through that.’ 

The programme is also about Stacey, though, and all she represents. 

She is aghast when another sister tells her of the financial sacrifices the women make when they take their vows of poverty, obedience and chastity. 

All savings are handed to the order. Obviously they do not have to pay rent or food costs, but Stacey is astonished to learn their personal spending allowance is £75 a year.

‘A YEAR?’ she says. ‘And Christmas presents have to come out of that,’ comes the answer. 

That said, she comes to understand that the women in this community are protected from some of the pressures of life. 

She cites her own past financial worries, telling the nuns money is hugely important to her now.

‘I like earning money. I like the freedom. I didn’t always have money. We were skint. In my first house we lived above a pet shop in a bedsit. Bills and maintenance can be such a worry if you are living in the real world. These ladies don’t have that which must feel…great.’ 

There are touching moments. She goes for a wander with Sister Jocelyn, and they sit by the graveyard. 

There are more sisters here than in the convent. When they die they can choose who to be buried next too, ‘and they don’t always choose who you’d expect’. 

Did Stacey expect this project to become so personal, though, because it does. She asks herself all the big questions — do I believe there is a God, could I become the sort of person who prays, what do I feel about death?

(The answer to the last one is easiest. She tells Sister Jocelyn she is ‘terrified’ of death and envies the sisters their faith that there is life after it). 

Candid conversations with the sisters also make her think about her own treadmill existence. 

‘For the last 15 years it’s been career, work, career. You put your personal life on the back burner. But I am 35.’ 

Candid conversations with the sisters also make Stacey Dooley think about her own treadmill existence. Pictured: The sisters from St Hilda's Priory - the Order of the Holy Paraclete, Whitby L to R Sister Erika, Nadine Unger, Sister Grace, Sister Helen, Sister Grace, Sister Dorothy, Sister Allison, Sister Jocelyn

Candid conversations with the sisters also make Stacey Dooley think about her own treadmill existence. Pictured: The sisters from St Hilda’s Priory – the Order of the Holy Paraclete, Whitby L to R Sister Erika, Nadine Unger, Sister Grace, Sister Helen, Sister Grace, Sister Dorothy, Sister Allison, Sister Jocelyn

Sister Helen raises the subject of children. 

‘I’ve got to start thinking about that, don’t I?’ says Stacey. 

The longer she spends in silence (she admits she and Kevin only ever sit in silence after a row), the more you can see her questioning her life. 

Mind you, the nuns prod in all the right places. Sister Helen points out Stacey and women like her do not have the luxury of time. ‘I’m more at danger of burn-out, aren’t I?’ Stacey says, gloomily. 

Sister Helen nods. ‘Showbiz is notoriously fickle. Who is to know how long Stacey is going to have a career, when Stacey is going to be old hat.’ 

Heavens! Let the girl get out feeling uplifted, at least. 

Everything about modern life — jobs, relationships, financial security — is transient, Sister Helen insists. 

I ask if she worries about women like Stacey. 

‘It bothers me that advertisers and social media have such a big influence on young women,’ she says. 

‘You’ve got to have it all — career, college, success, be beautiful, thin, fashionable, be able to run marathons — and all in immaculate make-up.’ 

Stacey leaves the nuns after ten days, able to tell her psalms from her liturgy, taking her contemplation (and her copy of Elle Decoration) with her. 

I ask the sisters if they reckon she’d make a good nun. 

Should Kevin be worried? ‘No. It was lovely to have her around, but we don’t think this is her vocation,’ says Sister Jocelyn. 

‘Her vocation at this time is tocontinue with the work she is doing, though this will probably change. 

‘Kevin has no need to be worried! 

  • Stacey Dooley: Inside the Convent, Monday March 7, BBC1 10.35pm and on BBC iPlayer

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