‘Everyone knew not to mess with Joan – her favourite threat was to cut your head off with a shovel’: Son’s hilarious obituary to his formidable 5ft2in mum who ‘took a shot at a neighbour and chopped lumps out of his door’
- Joan Parkin, 83, leaves behind ten grandchildren and nine great grandchildren
- ‘Tenacious’ mother was notorious for protecting her kids on a Newcastle estate
- Former cleaner raised five children by herself and signed off on her own obituary
Britain’s toughest mother who vowed to cut anyone’s head off ‘with a shovel’ if they ‘hurt her children’ has been remembered in a hilarious obituary penned by her loving son.
‘Tenacious’ grandmother-of-ten Joan Parkin, 83, who measured just 5ft2in, was notoriously protective of her five children, who she raised single-handedly on Newcastle’s tough Daisy Hill estate.
The great-grandmother-of-nine, who worked as a cleaner and at the gas board to provide for her family, died on January 30 following a years-long battle with illness.
In a published obituary, her son Ed, 62, recalled how she once ‘chopped lumps out of a neighbour’s front door’ after he had threatened his younger brother, before she ‘took a shot at him’.
‘Tenacious’ grandmother-of-ten Joan Parkin (pictured), 83, who measured just 5ft2in, was notoriously protective of her five children. She has been remembered in a hilarious obituary
In an obituary, her son Ed, 62, recalled how she once ‘chopped lumps out of a neighbour’s front door’ after he had threatened his younger brother
Although he concedes that his brother may have shot the neighbour’s daughter with an air rifle.
The comedic obituary reads: ‘She was a very strong woman, someone of substance and yet so kind and loving to all, especially towards her children who came before anyone else.
‘Mum’s favourite threat was if you hurt my children, I will cut off your head with a shovel!
‘She did chop lumps out of a neighbour’s front door one time, as this man threatened my younger brother.
‘To give him his due my brother did shoot his daughter in the neck with my air rifle, nothing serious really, just a scratch.’
The grieving son, who now lives in Australia, wrote the obituary with his mother’s full consent.
He told the Sun: ‘She was able to read it and she loved it.
The grieving son, who now lives in Australia, wrote the obituary with his mother’s full consent. Pictured: Joan with her five children
Joan’s family and friends gathered to celebrate ‘her life – not her passing’ with a funeral in Tynemouth, North Tyneside, and a wake in a nearby social club in Wallsend
‘It made her cry and laugh at the same time. At least she knew how much we loved her.
‘Mum was not big in stature. However, she was tenacious with a personality to match and everyone knew she was formidable.
‘She protected and cared for her children and sometimes protected us when she shouldn’t have, not that it mattered to Mum.’
The eulogy took up nearly a full page in the local paper.
Joan’s family and friends gathered to celebrate ‘her life – not her passing’ with a funeral in Tynemouth, North Tyneside, and a wake in a nearby social club in Wallsend.
Advertisement
