CRAIG BROWN: Meet Super Gregg, the hero who will help you beat the lockdown blues

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CRAIG BROWN: Meet Super Gregg, the hero who will help you beat the lockdown blues

Sir, May I share with your readers the best way of killing time during lockdown? Simply move your clock forward an hour! If you do this once a day,

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Sir, May I share with your readers the best way of killing time during lockdown? Simply move your clock forward an hour! If you do this once a day, then after 24 days, you’ll be a whole day closer to the end of lockdown than the rest of your friends.

Daphne Muddle

Sir, In response to your previous correspondent, I’d love to share a tip on how to kill time in lockdown. First, get a pen and paper. Second, write a letter to a newspaper on how to kill time in lockdown. If you want to kill even more time, take the long way round to the postbox, or go the usual route but walking backwards.

Bill Dupp

Sir, I’ve just spent a profitable few weeks tidying my house. I started slowly, throwing out unwanted shoes, old underwear and books I knew I’d never read again. Next went clothes I hadn’t worn for several years, old paperwork and sheets and blankets well past their prime.

By now, I’d got the bug. Out went pillows and board-games, sofas, beds, carpets, kitchen utensils, crockery, electric heaters, the washing machine, all clothes over a week old, family mementos and a great pile of bric-a-brac, including lamps, tables and the television.

My house is now spotless, but sadly I am left with nothing left to do. I had planned to start knocking down walls, but unfortunately I threw out my tool collection, too.

Terry Daft

Sir, I have recently thought of taking up bird-spotting. There is a robin at the bottom of my garden that I could sit and watch for hours, if I didn’t have a television. I love anything with Gregg Wallace.

More than one reader recommends a little bit of TV chef Gregg Wallace (pictured) as a sure fire way to beat the lockdown boredom [File photo]

More than one reader recommends a little bit of TV chef Gregg Wallace (pictured) as a sure fire way to beat the lockdown boredom [File photo]

I often wonder what that little robin thinks about as he sits there, all alone. I worry that he is bored. I’m thinking of making a tiny little pair of binoculars for him, so he can view me throughout the day, watching the telly. 

However, I don’t know how to make miniature binoculars. Fingers crossed that one of the daytime TV channels will soon offer us a programme called Making Your Bird A Pair of Binoculars With Gregg Wallace.

Annette Curtain

Sir, At this time of year, I like to pass the time by making marmalade. First, I squeeze, scrape and boil, and when I have finished doing that, I go to the kitchen and start making marmalade.

With Seville oranges now in the shops, everyone in my street seems to be making marmalade. Coincidentally, we all prefer to eat jam, honey or Marmite. Just our luck! We would be delighted to hear from any of your readers who may be considering taking up eating marmalade as a full-time occupation.

Victoria Sponge

Sir, As an ordinary member of the British public, I have spent lockdown walking up and down my local shopping centre. There are always plenty of camera crews from BBC, ITV and Channel 4, anxious to stop me and ask my views on how I am getting on during the pandemic.

To help them attain a cross-section of local views and encourage debate, I am always willing to say the opposite of what I have just said.

I then go home and enjoy watching myself on TV. I find it a lot more satisfying than taking selfies.

Sally Forth

Reader Victoria Sponge recommends marmalade making to keep busy in lockdown, though she herself is more partial to jam [Stock photo]

Reader Victoria Sponge recommends marmalade making to keep busy in lockdown, though she herself is more partial to jam [Stock photo]

Sir, My husband and I love learning to play our musical instruments during lockdown. We’ve been so lucky to find there’s no need for any musical ability. We practise our duets in the garden — me on the ukulele, and my husband on his bagpipes. At the moment, we’re steaming our way through the George Formby songbook.

The neighbours seem to enjoy it tremendously. The way they gaze out of their windows with their mouths wide open is uplifting. I only wish I could hear what they are screaming.

Dora Jarr

Sir, I recommend taking up DIY during lockdown. Over the past few weeks, I have made myself a sauna.

The cupboard under the stairs provides the necessary cramped conditions. The only extra thing you need is an electric fan-heater for warmth, and a garden bench for discomfort.

At the moment, guidelines forbid other people entering your sauna, but if you want to capture the illusion of a stranger staring at you through the steam, I suggest cutting out a life-sized picture of a topless Gregg Wallace and pinning it to the wall.

Dan Twerff

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